yesterday night, 8:35. I enter the cinema and no one is there.
my boldness wavers a bit. the woman taking away left bottles and chips asks me what I’m doing there and the only thing I want is to plunge in the big chair, in the big sala.
five minutes later I am still trying to accept that I am going to be alone on saturday night watching a movie of a F1 pilot who dies. then people start to get in.
the movie is made of old footage, it takes me back to people now old who don’t know what to do with his money a part from soiling newspaper pages. there, they were building their life. and it seemed so important what they were doing, all the circus, not just to them but to everybody. I feel kind of an anthropology scientist.
the story of the pilots is something else. their glance, in particular. and knowing how it’s gonna end it changes completely the point of view. I am with myself, trying to make clear to me what brought me there and what I am watching. I feel al peace.
the following is taken from movie subtitles:
I would like to continue to improve.
Do more. It makes me happy.
If you feel that my learning speed decreases, that my learning curve flattens, I’m not happy
It is not only the professional, as a pilot. It is also as a man.
Obviously, I will learn more as a man that as a pilot, because my career as a pilot may only last a few yers.
I hope that my life, however, last very long. Maybe I’m only half of my existence. So I still have much to learn and do in life.
I reach true happiness when I feel complete, something that does not prove at present.
But I still have so much time in front of me to succeed.